It's just that we've been blogging on the NEW site. The correct site. You know, july122008.blogspot.com*? I can't believe you haven't heard of it. It's very popular. So popular, we're currently in negotiations for a book deal. We're not much into writing, but don't worry--I hear Karl Rove has plenty of free time to ghost a book for us these days.
Wait, why the confused look on your face? Hadn't you heard? We changed the date of the wedding, making this website completely irrelevant. (And irreverent!) July 19th, 2008 seemed like a good day for a while, but we thought better of it. The thing about July 19th, 2008, is that besides being the original date of our intended nuptials, it also happens to be the one day that a crack opens up between this world and the next letting out all the mystic wolf-spirits so they can feed on our fragile tendons while we cower in fear. I don't know how we forgot about that. It happens every Leap Year, and yet somehow it still sneaks right up on you.
Anyway, once we realized that, and also after we heard about Hayward, Wisconsin's famous Summer Solstice Tantra-athon, we knew June 21st was the perfect new date for our wedding. Everyone involved hustled to change our plans and renegotiate with our vendors for the new date. It all came off without a hitch. There were hotel rooms, there were available caterers, there were plenty of free members of Cirque de Soleil. It was a Christmas miracle, right in the middle of summer! It was too good to be true.
Who could have known that while our wedding team (also known as Team My Mom) scrambled to make the necessary changes, the guys at “Nampfh” (or National Association of Musky Fishermen) were also making a major schedule change. While they had originally hoped to hold the Hayward Lakes Annual Musky Fest on June 28th next year, those annoying dopes in Rice Lake had moved the date of their Musky fishing contest, making conflict unavoidable. No one wanted to see Rice Lake and Hayward go toe to toe for the greatest Musky fishing talent in the Northwoods, least of all this bride and groom. So we changed our wedding date again. A big sacrifice, but for a worthy cause.
So, in conclusion: July 12, 2008
Go ahead and mark your calendars in pen. This is the date we're sticking to. I'll be damned if I'm going to see another event get scheduled over our wedding, be it otherworldly or just plain supernatural. That is why I am starting a petition to get the Hayward Area Chamber of Congress to put my wedding on their official "Events" calendar for all to see (sign up in comments section). If someone wants to schedule something else on July 12, 2008, may God help their souls.
Just to be on the safe side, though, you probably should all keep the entire summer free for now.
*Obviously there is no such blog. You’ll have to keep coming to this inaccurately-named site for the latest wedding updates. But that doesn’t give you an excuse to show up for the ceremony a week late, Gabe.
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2 comments:
Ah, the clever couple is back, thank goodness. I was getting so starved for procrastination activities that my choices were nearing actual work for dullness. Write on, my friends, write on.
Wait, I am so confused. Why can't we go to the correct blog? I tried it, and a big ERROR shot across my screen. That, and in the copy, is 19th, 12th, and the 21st. This is really just not good for a person with calendar deficiencies and needs to keep 3 electronic ones, 2 of which are synched, when I plug them in.
July 12th. Ok.
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