Ever since Josh posted on this blog about our trip to see Tony and Michelle in Denver, a flood of mail has been coming in asking us to clarify something. So let us clarify: Tony and Michelle are NOT REALLY swingers. It's important that we make that clear, for the sake of public record and not just because of this intimidating cease-and-desist letter we got from attorneys representing the Adult Swingers Society of Denver (ASS'D).
We formally apologize for any misunderstanding our blog might have caused and hope the misleading intimation that Tony and Michelle were among the group will not permanently discourage anyone interested in joining the "Swinging Tigers," as they are known to friends. Swing on, Tigers, swing on.
Now, in other Tony and Michelle news, I was distressed to discover that they have exposed us to the BUBONIC PLAGUE. Rude, no? According to the Wall Street Journal (this is a local newspaper in New York), Spanky, a capuchin monkey at the Denver Zoo—the VERY ZOO Tony and Michelle insisted we visit while in Denver—has shuffled off her mortal coil due to a nasty case of the Black Death. Apparently she came by her untimely demise by eating an infected squirrel just THREE DAYS after we saw Spanky frolicking with her mates on Monkey Island, and since her death, several other squirrels and a rabbit have also died of the same disease. Zoo officials recommend holding off on any meals of braised squirrel, monkey brains, or hassenpfeffer until the plague subsides, but otherwise see no reason to worry about the spread of bubonic plague to humans.
But that doesn't explain this persistent cough I've had since we got back from Denver.
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