Ever had a burning question that you wished you could ask a cat, but found you were too embarrassed to do so? You should not be embarrassed! And was it really burning? Because there is a cream for that, although it is not the kind that you lap from a dish.
Q: How come there are no formally announced positions for cats in weddings?
A: That is a very good question! In fact there are two very formal positions for cats in weddings: Cats can be on the floor, or cats can be on a chair! Cats should not be on the table, or someone will squirt them with the spray bottle!
Q: But what about being a bridesmaid or groomsman? I'd like to honor my cat at the wedding, but I don't know the right way to do it.
A: Cats are neither maids nor men, so they cannot be bridesmaids or groomsmen. Some couples choose to have a best cat or a cat of honor, but I will be honest with you: Cats do not plan the best bachelor or bachelorette parties—usually, they schedule a trip to a fishmonger's. Also, many countries do not recognize cats as legal witnesses to a marriage. One option is to have the cat be your ring bearer, but you will probably have to shake a can of Pounce™ treats to make sure the cat brings the ring to the front of the church. Cats do not make good flower girls, because they often eat the flowers.
If you have a question for ASK A CAT, please leave it in the comments! ASK A CAT welcomes questions from everyone and about everything, but specific areas of expertise include etiquette, napping, interpersonal relations, and tuna fish.
We are getting married, and you are going to like it.
About Our Love
As you can see, we are deeply in love, and as our wedding date—July 19, 2008—draws closer, the love is only getting deeper. Thanks to the wonders of electronic technology, you too can experience our love, here on this blog, even from afar. Do not attempt to emulate our love, however: Our love is big. It's bigger than you. It's bigger than Time and Space. It is probably the greatest love this world has ever seen.
4 comments:
hey, do you want to another reason why there are no 'formal' cat positions in weddings?
because they are cats.
Tony, that was not particularly witty, but I do not know what else I expected. All of the best weddings include cats, but I suppose you are not all that well versed in etiquette.
Can I be in Josh and Kelly's wedding? I have been to Wisconsin and I find it lovely and full of beautiful (and tasty) birds.
Also, I already have my own formal wear since I always wear black.
Hello, Tippy! Of course you can be in the wedding! I will make you commander of the Cat Guards! We will protect everyone from birds and small rodents, and if there are any sandboxes around, we will use them! We are going to have the best time!
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