Wayward in Hayward

This blogging thing is complicated. For one thing, you are supposed to do it more than once a month, apparently, so that people don't forget about your blog! But who has the time? Some of us have jobs, people!

Also, our URL isn't accurate anymore, as She-Bear pointed out in our last post. That renders the counter on the left inaccurate as well! Gah! Our wedding date is now moved up a week, to July 12, 2008. See, we called to book hotel blocks and discovered that apparently there is a monthlong sleepaway camp going on near Hayward, and that the campers' moms and dads had already reserved all the rooms in town for parents' weekend on the 19th. That created a huge problem, because we knew that some of our guests (my friend Pat, my brother Gabe) would want to try to meet girls at the sleepaway camp, and who needs parents interfering with yo' game, playa? Too, we figured that some of you nellie-nellies would want hotel rooms. Come on!

So, the lady and I are going to have a talk about this blog. In the meantime, though, I will tell you about OUR FABULOUS WEDDING-PLANNING TRIP, from which we have just returned.

For starters, how apropos that we should make the journey over the Labor Day weekend, because wedding planning is a lot of work. To the casual observer, this may not be apparent, because it just looks like a bunch of flipping through magazines and pointing at the things inside of them, but the casual observer doesn't understand just how many things there are to point at. Also, you are not just pointing! Some of the things in the magazines must be admired, some must be mocked, and some must be torn out and put into a binder! I am really glad I'm not in charge of that last bit, because whenever I tear something out to store in a binder, I end up with a binder full of stuff that I never look at again, which ends up getting stored in a cardboard box with a bunch of other binders full of stuff I've never looked at again. The box keeps getting bigger and bigger, and frankly, it's getting too heavy and real old at this point. When I started this system back in college, I was pretty sure I'd have an attic soon where I could leave the box until I died, after which my kids would go through it, thinking it was all really important to me. That was so long ago. I am 31 now, and there is still no goddamn attic in my future. We don't have attics in New York. That would be preposterous. Please, please, let this wedding happen soon and then let me write a best-selling novel and then let us move back to the Midwest or somewhere with attics. PLEASE.

Anyway. Here are some highlights of the trip:

Ned's cabin. Our wedding party will be staying here next summer, and man, are you guys in for a treat. This place is enormous and has a pool table, a boating area, and, yes, a hot chicks room. Perfect for those of our friends who are into "the lifestyle," which is all of them.

The McCormick House. This is where the reception will be, and this joint is so stylin' that when you see it, you are not going to believe you're in Hayward, Wisconsin. You will probably think it's Eau Claire, perhaps Madison. One word, people: topiary. And one more word: reflecting pool.

Dragonfly! No joke, we were out on the dock and this dragonfly came and sat on my shirt for, like, an hour, until I had to forcibly remove him. We're pretty sure he was ancient and about to die, and just wanted to spend his last few minutes with a man society press has dubbed "god of the dragonflies—and the kitchen." He got me instead, but I don't think he knew the difference.

There is more, but I can already tell that this is going to be one of those posts that Kelly just shakes her head at. I will be back tomorrow, with a more composed manner, better things to say, and entirely better ways of saying them. Thanks for understanding—this wedding stuff just wipes you out.